


Measure Your Life In Love

by TheReginaMills



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 06:49:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15657972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheReginaMills/pseuds/TheReginaMills
Summary: They say that right before you die, you see your life as a movie. Could you watch yours?





	Measure Your Life In Love

**Author's Note:**

> Fair warning: I cried four times while writing this. Read at your own risk!
> 
> Italics: Flashbacks

They say that right before you die, you see your life as a sort of movie. Regina Mills never believed that, not really. Not until it happened to her that is.

She remembers walking down the path to the mailbox. She remembers feeling the impact of the car as it skidded across the ice and slammed into her body. She remembers hearing Henry scream her name. She remembers white hot pain searing through her body. She remembers the world going black and the pain subsiding. Now everything is bright and she’s sitting on the ground, a montage of her past playing around her. She sees Daniel first, and tears spring to her eyes.

_“Daniel! What are you doing out here? It’s freezing!” She jumps off of Rocinante and drops the reins, rushing to Daniel and enveloping him in a warm hug._

_“I had to see you, my love. Two weeks was far too long for me to go without laying my eyes on your beautiful face,” He leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips, “and absolutely too long for me to go without kissing your gorgeous lips.”_

_Regina smiles and brushes a stray lock of hair behind her ear. She looks up into Daniel’s eyes and thinks to herself, I could look into these eyes forever. And she plans to. She’d been riding down to see him, to tell him that she wants to run away with him, marry him and spend the rest of her life with him. Her first real love._

The scene blurs and the next person she sees is her mother.

_“You thought you could just up and leave without saying goodbye, Regina?” Cora has her and Daniel cornered in the stables. She was going to run away with him tonight. After her mother had accepted Leopold’s proposal for her she knew she had to leave now. “Come now, Regina, you couldn’t have possibly believed that you’d get away with it. Honestly dear, I don’t know what you see in this… this stable boy.”_

_“I love him, mother. And he loves me. You can’t take that away from us.” Regina feels her voice wavering. “Please mother.”_

_Cora smiles wickedly and picks up her skirts, walking further into the stable. She grabs Daniel by the arm gently and pulls him to the side, leaning in to whisper to him._

_“Do you truly love my daughter?” He nodded quickly._

_“Yes ma’am, with all my heart.”_

_“Do you want to give her the best in life?”_

_“O-of course, Mrs. Mills.”_

_“Then you’ll understand why I have to do this.” She plunges her hand into his chest and rips his heart out, still beating._

_“Mother, no!” Regina rushes over and grabs her arm._

_“Regina, darling, this stable boy has admitted he wants what’s best for you. That’s clearly not being a lowly stable boy’s wife. I’m doing what’s best for you, dear.” She begins squeezing his heart, Regina letting out a sob as Daniel writhes in pain on the ground before stilling, his eyes glassy and looking blankly at the ceiling. Cora opens her hand and lets the dusty remnants of his heart fall to the floor._

Regina feels the tears falling down her face as the scene fades to black and another appears in its place. This time she sees herself standing atop the balcony of her room in Leopold’s castle.

_She’s banging on the railing of the balcony, frustrated about being stuck in a loveless marriage with the brutish Leopold. She doesn’t notice the bolts shaking loose until it’s too late and she’s falling. She can see the ground coming closer and closer and she squeezes her eyes shut preparing for impact. She never feels it though, as she’s now being levitated and gently placed on the cold stone. Confused, she looks around and spots a blonde woman walking out of the shadows._

_“Who are you?” Regina wraps her arms around herself, conscious of the fact she’s only in her nightgown._

_“My name is Tinker Bell, I’m a fairy!” Tinker Bell is far too peppy for Regina. “You didn’t have to jump, you know. There are other ways to get out of this.” Tink looks at her with concern._

_“I’m sorry… what?” She knits her brow on confusion._

_“You don’t have to kill yourself to get out of this marriage with Leopold.” She steps closer to Regina._

_“I wasn’t ju- the railing broke loose, I fell.” Tinker Bell raises her eyebrow, clearly not believing a word of it._

_“If you say so…” she reaches up and brushes a golden curl out of her face. “Say… would you be interested in finding your True Love?” She bounces from foot to foot, clearly excited about helping Regina._

_“I already did, and he was murdered. There is no love for me anymore.” She feels herself closing off._

_“Nonsense! Listen, I have some dust that will lead you directly to your True Love. Why don’t you try it and see what happens?” She pulls out a pouch of glowing green dust and dangles it in front of Regina._

_Regina squints, thinking about the possibilities of her True Love actually being out there somewhere. Is it possible that Daniel wasn’t her True Love? Can people have more than one True Love in their lifetime? What if this was all just a trick, some sort of sick joke being played on her by Leopold?_

_“Regina, what’s the worst that could happen?” Tink’s voice pulls her out of her spiral._

_“You know what, you’re right. I… I think I’d like to try it.” She tentatively reaches out and touches the bag of dust. “What do I have to do?”_

Regina sniffs, remembering all too well the feeling of hope building inside her chest when Tink told her she could find her True Love again. She sees the image of her past self fade, replaced by an image of a very excited Tink.

_“Come on Regina, we have to follow the dust. Well, you do. But I wanna see where it takes you!” She grabs Regina’s hand and begins pulling her after the glowing dust floating through the air and into the forest._

_Regina feels the anxiety rising as the dust glows brighter the closer they get to her True Love. All at once the forest opens onto a small town; several small living quarters and a tavern. The dust floats to the door of the tavern and flows through the cracks in the wood. Regina rushes up to the door and looks through the window. The glowing dust has stopped next to a gorgeous man with light brown hair and a lion tattoo on his forearm._

_“Is… is that him?” She turns around to ask Tink, but the fairy has disappeared. She turns back to the window and stares at the man laughing and drinking his beer. She touches the door handle, trying to gather enough courage to go in._

_After several seconds of deliberation she shakes her head and turns on her heel, running back down the path she came from._  

The scene fades. Regina shakes her head, cursing herself internally for not going in the tavern that night. Before she’s had too long to think about it, another scene has taken its place.

_“Is… is that him?” Regina’s eyes prickle with tears as the agent brings in a babbling baby._  

_“Yes, Ms. Mills, this is him. Your little boy.” The agent hands Regina the infant, who instantly smiles up at her and babbles some more. “Have you thought of a name for him?” Regina smiles, a tear creeping down her cheek._

_“Yes. His name is Henry.” She gently rubs his cheek with a single finger, never taking her eyes off of him._

Regina melts at the memory of seeing her son for the first time.

_Henry is beginning to crawl. Regina tries her best to keep him from getting into things but he’s just so fast. As soon as she’s cleaned up one disaster, another has already happened._  

_She loves him with her whole heart, though. She wouldn’t trade him for the world. She loves the way he smiles at her in the morning when she picks him up from the crib. She loves the way he wraps his little hand around her index finger when he needs comforting. She loves the way he weaves his hand into her hair when she’s feeding him. She loves rocking him to sleep at naptime, hearing his little content coos as he drifts off._

_She loves every single thing about being a mother._

Regina smiles at baby Henry crawling around the mansion, but the feeling is short lived as another scene emerges.

_“You’re Henry’s birth mother?” Regina stares incredulously at the woman in front of her._  

_“Hi.” The woman smiles, and Regina is immediately unsettled. She shakes herself and smiles back at her._

_“How would you like a glass of the best apple cider you’ve ever tasted?” She motions toward the front door of 108 Mifflin Street._

_“Uh, sure? I should really be going, though. Boston is a four hour drive from here.”_

_“Nonsense, you returned my son to me, the least I could do is give you a drink for your troubles.” She gives the woman the fakest smile and turns to go inside the house, assuming she’ll follow._

Regina bristles at the memory of Emma coming to town. Everything had been fine before she showed up. Well… not really ‘fine’ but things were easier. Another scene began playing, another painful memory.

_“What am I supposed to tell Henry?” Emma looks at Regina, brows raised and hands out towards her._

_“Tell him… tell him that in the end it wasn’t too late for me to do the right thing.” Regina smiles weakly at Emma, blue light emanating from the stone beneath her hands._

_“Regina, please…”_

_“Everyone sees me as the Evil Queen, including my son.” She takes a shaky breath and looks down for a moment before picking her head up and looking Emma in the eye. “Let me die as Regina.”_

_Emma sighs and turns, slowly walking away. Regina poises her hands over the glowing stone and takes a deep breath. Emma turns around and looks at the broken woman in front of her._

_“Regina…”_

_Regina closes her eyes and sends powerful magic from her fingertips to the stone, trying to keep it from obliterating Storybrooke. Emma looks down and turns, running from the mineshaft._

“Please stop this!” Regina yells at no one. She’s sick of watching every mistake she’s ever made in her life.

“These aren’t mistakes, Regina.”

Regina whips her head around, searching frantically for the source of the voice.

“This is your life of love. Every scene that’s been shown so far, and every scene that will play after this, is a moment where love existed. That’s what makes life worth living.”

“But why do I have to watch them?” Regina waits for an answer. “Hello?!”

Nothing. Instead, another scene begins crackling to life.

_“I don’t run from monsters, monsters run from me!” Regina flicks her hand, a fireball roaring to life in her palm. The flying creature descends on her and Snow but she throws the fireball before it can attack._

_“We have to get to cover!” Snow is reaching for Regina but the creature is coming for her. Regina pushes snow out of the way and covers her face with her arms. The creature grabs Regina by her forearm and starts carrying her away._

_“Regina!!” Snow shouts and fumbles to her feet, reaching up and grabbing Regina’s leg, pulling her free from the flying demon. Its claws rip into Regina’s skin as it loses its grip. Regina falls to the forest floor, her arm bleeding. The creature regroups quickly, swooping in quickly._

_“Get down!” A voice shouts from the trees. The women drop to the ground as an arrow whizzes past them, embedding itself in the creature’s eye. It wails in pain and turns away, flying off above the trees. A man enters the clearing, bow in hand. He reaches down for Regina’s hand._

_“Milady, you’re injured.” Regina scoffs and gives him a brief glance before pushing herself to her knees._

_“It’s ‘Your Majesty,’ and I’m fine.” She stands, reaching down to help Snow off the ground._

_“A simple ‘thank you’ would suffice.” He smirks at Regina and she rolls her eyes, brushing bits of leaves and dirt off her_ _gown._

Regina’s breath catches at the sight of her Robin. She misses him so much it makes her chest ache. Distant voices tell her that another scene is coming.

_“So what do you think of our new… friend? Can we trust him? I mean… he is a thief after all.” Regina turns her attention back to Snow._

“ _Regina, think of it from his perspective. How do you think he looks at you?” Snow smiles at herself while Regina rolls her eyes._

_“Point taken.” She raises her eyebrows and turns her attention forward._

_“He’s kinda cute, huh?” Snow looks over and smiles at Regina, who’s glaring at the younger woman._

_“He smells like forest.”_

Regina can feel tears prickling at her eyes once again. Oh, the days of denial. She hadn’t wanted to open her heart to someone again. She couldn’t have taken the crushing weight of heartbreak when it all went wrong, because after all, villains don’t get happy endings. Seems that still rings true. The next scene roars to life.

_Regina is fighting her split self, the Evil Queen. Lamps have been thrown, mirrors have been shattered. The Evil Queen is circling Regina, her face dark and angry. Regina has her sword raised, ready to defend herself._

“ _You think you’re better than me, huh? Stronger than me?!” The Queen pushes Regina into the wall with magic, her sword skittering to the floor. The Queen picks it up and slashes at Regina._

_“You think you’ve filled that hole inside your heart? Made yourself WHOLE?” She points the sword at Regina, who’s backing away. “Well, sweetheart. You’ve been fooling yourself because you haven’t. I’M still what’s inside of you, and I am ALL that will ever be there.”_

_“No…” Regina shakes her head, her eyes glistening with tears. “You’re wrong.” Regina pushes The Queen into the wall, vines appearing from the wallpaper, trapping her there. “All those things in my life you can’t stand looking at? THEY are real. And now that I have them you will NEVER take them away from me.” The Queen’s lips tremble. Regina plunges her hand into the Queen’s chest and pulls out her heart. It’s completely black, not a sign of goodness in her. The Queen growls at Regina._

_“I HATE YOU!”_

_Regina begins squeezing the black heart, tears pooling in her eyes. She falters though, and catches a glimpse of herself in a piece of the shattered mirror on the ground, except instead of seeing herself now, she sees herself as the Evil Queen. Alone, scared, full of self hatred and loneliness. She stops squeezing the heart and looks at the Queen, a sudden epiphany in her eyes._

_“But… but I don’t. Not anymore.” She waves her hand releasing the Queen from her restraints. The Queen scoffs and looks at her incredulously._

_“What are you doing?” Regina places her hand to her mouth, wiping a tear from her lip._

_“I’m going to do what we never could. I’m going to be brave for both of us. I’m going to choose love over hate.” She reaches into her own chest, pulling out her bright red heart. The Queen stares, uncertain what Regina will do next._

_Regina press the two hearts together; dark against light, yin against yang. Suddenly the two colors start mixing, red going to black and black going to red. Both hearts filling with light and dark. She pulls them apart, now both equally dark and light, and presses the Queen’s heart back inside her chest, and her own heart back in hers. The Queen’s eyes fill with tears immediately, and she jerks her head to the side. She breathes in sharply._

_“N-no…” She shakes her head again. “What’s… happening... to me?” Regina wipes a tear from her own cheek._

_“I have you some of my love.” She pauses, taking in a deep breath. “Love from… Henry… Robin… Emma… and the people I care most about. And… and in return I’m taking back some of your darkness. OUR darkness.”_

_“What? Why?”_

_“Because… you are a part of me. And I’m a part of you whether you like it or not.” Tears begin streaming down Regina’s face. “And now I love myself… which means so should you.”_

Regina wipes at the tears pouring down her face. She remembers that vividly. She finally loved herself and she admitted it. A voice boomed from nowhere.

“This is the last scene you will see before you move on from this life. Are you ready?”

Regina took a deep breath, wondering what the final scene could be.

“Yes, I’m ready.”

_Regina and Robin are standing close together, Robin holding his daughter. Regina smiles at him as he rocks her softly._  

“ _Sh sh sh, everything’s gonna be alright, your father’s here now.”_

_“Oh I wouldn’t be so sure of that.” A deep voice loomed from behind them. Regina whipped around to see who was with them in her office._

_“Hades, what do you want?” She places a protective hand on Robin. Hades grins wickedly at the trio, twirling the Olympian Crystal in his hand._

_“You know what I want, Regina.” He pointed the Crystal at her._

_“Hades, stop! This isn’t worth it.” She held her hands up in front of her. “If you kill me, you WILL lose Zelena forever.”_

_“Oh hush. Only if she knows about it. And this?” He lifts the Crystal. “This isn’t going to kill you. It’s going to OBLITERATE you. There will be nothing left of the infamous Evil Queen when this is through with you. One minute you exist, and the next? Well, you don’t.”_

_“Stop!” Robin places a hand on Regina’s forearm. “Just stop. This was my idea. Use that thing on me and let Regina go!” Regina snaps her gaze at him._

_“Oh, sorry, ladies first!” He shoots a beam of light from the Crystal at Regina. Robin dives in front of her._

_“No!!” The beam of light hits Robin square in the chest. Hades laughs while Regina gasps._

_“Robin…” he slowly turns to her, feeling his heart beat slower and slower. Her eyes are filling with tears as he drops to his knees, crumpling to the floor. His ghost linger for a moment, smiling at Regina, reaching a hand out to wipe the tear falling down her cheek before disappearing altogether. She holds her hands out where he once stood and whimpers._

“Enough!” Regina weeps, hugging her knees to her chest. “Enough…” she rocks back and forth, trying to comfort herself.

“Well Regina, I hope you see how much you loved and were loved in this life. And I hope you learn to love in the next one as well.” The voice boomed in the empty space. “And above all, I hope you learn to keep your heart open, and allow yourself to feel things, deeply. The greatest thing you will ever do in life is love and be loved. Don’t waste it.” She nodded and stood.

“Where do I go now?” She looked around the seemingly endless white space.

“Someone will be along shortly to escort you out of here. Where you go after that? It’s your choice. Enjoy.”

Moments later she heard footsteps. She turned toward the source of the noise and gasped.

“Daddy?”

“Let's go home, Regina.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you, dear reader, for viewing and reading my stories. I hope you enjoy them and I would love to hear some feedback! If you’d like to send me some prompts you can do so via Curious Cat (TheReginaMills).


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